Better late than never

It's been a while since I've had laptop in lap and even longer since I've written in my blog. Making an installment in the "Only Good Things" blog has been just a tiny bit unrealistic to me lately. Certainly, lots of good things have come my way these past few weeks, but they have been somewhat overshadowed by the hecticness (new word for Webster) of the holiday season, not to mention the surges of grief that manage to creep up on me on a regular (yet not conveniently timed) basis. I have found myself, on more than one occasion, falling apart at the most inopportune moments, such as one day while I was doing some business in the bank. The poor teller didn't know what to think so she asked me if I was crying because I was afraid they wouldn't take good care of the money I was depositing. I'm sure she thought I was a nut case until I explained that my dad had died just a couple of weeks ago and that was why I was spewing snot and tears all over the counter. The survelience camaras got some delightfull footage I'm sure. Oh well. The strangest thing to me is that I get paid to provide counseling and support to others who are grieving. I give them some pretty darn good advice and support, yet for the life of me right now I cannot seem to practice what I preach. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have really known what I have been talking about for all of these years. One good thing to come out of all of this is that I will certainly have more compassion and empathy for the people I work with.

Speaking of work, I will be going back to work the first week of January. I'm sure that it will be overwhelming after being off for the last two months. I'm looking forward to seeing my co-workers, but I have gotten pretty used to living a life of leisure. I love being at home and being able to devote more time to my family. It has been fun picking Tucker up after school in the afternoons and chatting about his day. When I'm working it just seems like everything is rush, rush, rush. I have realy enjoyed having time to relax and not feeling like there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done. Oh well, I guess it's time to go back to the real world.

As for the tachycardia issues, no big change really, some days are better than others. The Metoprolol works pretty well but I still have some episodes in the 120's and 130's, but it usually calms down after a bit and then I'm OK for a while. Haven't been back to the ER for six weeks or so, and that's a good thing. I see the Cardiologist again in a couple of weeks, I'm sure she's not going to have much to offer me especially since I haven't exactly been totally complient with her orders. I am supposed to be going to the gym every single day because getting my heart rate up on purpose is supposed to make my resting heart rate lower than it is now. My resting heart rate is in the 90's and apparently that isn't a great thing, at least not over a long period of time. At first I was doing the gym thing pretty regurlarly (for a couple of weeks anyway), then I sort of just stopped going. Of course, that was about the time my dad got sick and I was making several trips a week up to Mineral after work and on the weekends. Anyway, I'm certain that she isn't going to have a lot of smypathy for me in terms of my heart rate issues because I haven't exactly held up my end of the deal. We'll see.

Since I've been off I have had time to do some fun things like baking and sewing. I made my mom a little quilted throw for Christmas. I'll attach a picture since she has it now and it seeing it here won't ruin the surprise. I'm not quite ambitious enough to take on a full size quilt so I thought I'd start small. It worked out OK, especially since the person I was making it for is rather small herself. She told me she was cuddled up under it tonight, watching TV. I'm glad you like it mom.

In addition to the quilt I made a whole slew of dish towels with little appliqued birds on them, as well as bunch of pot holders and some aprons (none of which I took photos of). Everyone at work got homemade gifts this year and I have to say that it was so much fun making them. Sadly, my sewing days will be over soon, there won't be time because my next class starts around the time I go back to work. If only I could figure out how to read a textbook and knit or sew at the same time. Hmm.

Happy New Year everyone.

Outdoors Adventure

Yep, that's me with a gun in my hands. Scarey huh? Not to worry though, I'm a terrible shot. So, unless it is a sheer accident, nothing is likely to be injured or killed as long as I'm the one pulling the trigger. In fact, I'm pretty sure I heard the quail laughing at me as we hunted along today. I shot twice, hit nothing, but Tommy was proud of me anyway. He said even though I didn't kill one I sure scared the shit out them.

It was a beautiful sunny day and I had a great time just hanging out with Tommy and being out in the fresh air. I was a little worried that I was putting a damper on Tommy's day, he loves to hunt and he doesn't get much time to do it, so with me along he has to go slower and carry more, including my gun toward the end of the day when I got a little tired and whiney. We walked a very long way and my feet were killing me because I had to borrow a pair of Lindsey's hunting boots which were just a tad on the small side. My toes were hitting the end of the boot and after a few miles in rough terrain they had had enough. I tried to be tough but by the time we were nearly back to the truck I just couldn't keep up with him. He's a good sport though and he tried hard to make sure I was having fun and that I was safe at all times. He's a great hunting guide and all he wants for payment are a few kisses and a smile. Lucky me, people pay big money to have a personal hunting guide.

After the quail hunting adventure, Tommy decided we should go deer watching, so we went to an area of the ranch known as Section 11. It is a huge area and its loaded with deer and since its rutting season we got to watch one lucky little buck succeed in his quest to "make friends" with a pretty doe. It was very cool to see mother nature at work even though it was literally over in a matter of a few seconds. Clearly it was strictly business, no messing around with pleasantries and all that. Perhaps in the spring we'll see the product of their little meeting frolicking around in the meadow.

By the time we got home this evening we were tired and hungry, but not really up to cooking a big meal. So, we tried something new, or at least new to us. Tater Tot casserole. Sounds disgusting, tasted pretty good. I just cooked up some hamburger, threw it in a casserole dish with some shredded cheddar, cream of mushroom soup, milk and a package of tater tots. I baked it for 45 minutes and wah lah, we had dinner. Tommy and the kids liked it so well that we think we'll have it again one day.

Stay tuned for the next adventure in happiness.

Welcome to my blog

A few episodes of tachycardia, a couple of trips to the ER, a few EKG's and multiple medications, and suddenly everyone thinks you are crazy. "You need to find better ways of dealing with stress" or "Maybe you should consider talking to someone...like a professional." Yikes!!! These are not words that instill a great deal of self confidence in a person, yet they do cause one to take a good look at their life and their coping strategies, or lack thereof.
However, before I jump on the "therapy" band wagon, I think I'll try something more fun. Blogging seems like it might be fun, somewhat frustrating but still fun, so I'm going to give it a whirl. My goal here is to focus on the many positive things in my life in an attempt to stop worrying so much about the other stuff. We all have stress, especially these days, and I envy those people who can just tuck things away. I'm not good at that. I tend to worry about things until I find a solution to whatever it is that I'm worrying about. Apparently, this is not a good strategy so I'm adopting a new strategy and you're looking at it. This blog will be about happy things, things that make me smile, things that make me laugh and things that offer me some peace of mind. I will gratefully welcome suggestions from others in terms of ways to relax and let things go. Thanks for joining me on this new journey.